Thank You, Coca-Cola

This world is an interesting place, y’all. Things sometimes fit together in curious ways.

An explanation:

I’m allergic to Missouri. But, Missouri, don’t be down about it, because I’m allergic to Mississippi and Alabama, too. Mississippi and Alabama lead to bronchitis — you just make my head hurt. And it’s funny, every Spring that rolls around, you make my head hurt in a different spot.

Repeatedly.

So, thanks for keeping it interesting.

A few years ago it was my cheekbones. They would ache at certain times and I would feel like they were so heavy that they were going to actually fall off my face.

This year, you have decided to sock me right between my eyes. Right underneath the wrinkles that my youngest son so loves to look at. The wrinkles that look like a wonky eleven.

My sister, Deana, and I elect to call wrinkles …wranks. Don’t know when we started that — years ago now. Not that she has any, the goose.

Anyway, one day I was driving carpool when I decided that I simply must pull into a drugstore and get something to take for for my headache. And, I didn’t have anything to take the medicine with, so I did a very uneconomical thing. I bought a bottle of Cherry Coke to take it with. Normally, I would have just found the store’s water fountain and waited until I could get home to get something else to drink. But I was slap in the middle of carpool — so not getting home anytime soon — and, dang it, I wanted something cold to hold against my forehead to take my mind off of the pressure zinging me right between the eyes.

I found out something interesting.

You may recall, a coke bottle is shaped like this:

And so, when I put it to my forehead, I found out that we were a perfect match for each other.

Even down to the little notches in the bottom of the bottle that are a perfect cut-out for my nose. I’ve pondered figuring out how to make a head band, of sorts, so that I can hold the thing on there while I go about my day.

Now, wouldn’t that look glamorous.

So, if you see me, and my forehead wranks seem to have magically disappeared, don’t assume that I’ve suddenly gone in for some Botox.

Nope, I’ve just frozen my forehead with a Coke bottle.