Originally published June 20, 2011.

Put It On My List

This is yet another item on the “I Can’t Believe That He Just Did That” list.

My list — it’s extensive.

On Saturday, my boys and I went to the pool. There weren’t too many folks there so Nathan and I started a game of catch in the middle of the pool. After awhile, it dawned on me that I hadn’t laid eyes on any of my other sons for several minutes. So, I told Nathan that I was going to do a head count and then we’d resume our game.

I first went to look for Eli, my youngest. I quickly found him at the snack bar (of course) but not mooching food (thank goodness for that). He was sitting at a table with Charlie. Eli had procured his special dip — the dip that consists of equal parts mustard and ketchup — and was sucking it into his mouth using a coffee stirrer. I asked him to sit on our lounge chair so that I would know where he was while he finished his “seekret speshal dip” as he calls it.

So, I was 2 down and 1 to go before I could be relaxed and play some more catch with Nathan. Then I realized that James was probably in the bathroom and I resolved to have 10 more throws with Nathan before I would leave the pool to go get him.

Turns out that I didn’t have to go get him because, along about throw number 8, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a boy James’s size with identical swim trunks coming from the direction of the bathroom. I turned to check that it really was James and saw him, half-running, into the shallow end of the pool. He had his snorkel in one hand and his goggles in the other. I was visually assuring myself that he also had his trunks pulled up enough when something on his face distracted me.

I looked closer and saw that James was sporting the biggest, most majestic, Santa-like soap bubble beard that I had ever seen. Really, he probably had used the majority of one of those liquid soap dispensers to concoct his beard.

That thing defied the laws of physics, I tell you.

Anyway, he continued to run until he was at the center of the pool where he dunked himself and came up with a flourish equal to any circus performer. It was his big ta-da moment.

Nathan and I laughed, of course. We kept on playing catch and James went back to swimming.

Just another day in my never boring life.

I hope y’all are having a good Monday.