This Thing
has been stalking me at the pool this summer.

He claims to be a Beluga dolphin and even attempts to communicate with his dolphin noises. This tends to surprise and amuse fellow swimmers. He informed me that, what with his big dolphin brain, that he was determined to fix the Titanic. When we asked him what he would do to repair it he was a bit brief with the details but went into great length describing the new invention that he would place on the Titanic’s bow. What type of invention? A laser beam that would cut through all icebergs.

This is one intense dolphin.